As much as a care for someone, I'm still not mentally stable in a relationship. I try so hard to move on from the past but one little phrase or word could trigger a past experience with this person, and I can't take it anymore. It's killing to force myself to be happy when I'm completely confused and unsure of my future with this person. I'm happy that we are trying to work things out... but Damn, everything isn't going to be fixed over night, nor a week or two. Having situations and thoughts unspoken from the past has affected my ability to see our future together.
- How can I ever be comfortable his sexuality when he cheated on me like it was nothing... not once but several times and hide it from me. He was living a double life, and I was his cover-up. I'm always going to think he is hiding something now... He chose to be and stay in the relationship and continuously hurt me, but he stole my choice. I didn't have a choice.
- My ego is shot... completely. I know i'm sexy as hell.. well at least I know now, but he is confusion damaged my self-esteem. I use to be very sexual and flirtatious, but after being rejected from the person you are in a relationship with... one starts to wonder what is wrong with them. WTF? Are you or are you not atrracted to me? Do you not see me standing here half-naked?
- I don't understand why he gets upset or uncomfortable when he is put in certain situations or something is brought up... News Flash! It's your life... It's your drama... You created it. I'm upset because this sh*t didn't have anything to do with me, but the one with the insecurities. I'm MAD AS HELL... investing my time into something that never existed. All this d*mn drama now because I can't fully commit anymore.
- What hurts the most is that he was my friend before all of this... Friends don't hurt friends to the point of no return and Friends don't screw up your life! I thought he was a good friend, I thought I could trust him, I thought it would be ok to open up to him but i guess i was wrong. I have never felt more betrayed in my entire life... He knew everything; the past, present, and future.. I told him things that no one else knew but God.
- I gave him MY all... and he chose to take it and keep me in the back of him mind while he was fucking with some nigga... He kept his secrets and allowed me to believe his lying a**. Ain't that about a B*tch...
- How could be in love with someone like that? How do you let go of the hurt and pain? How do you let go of the laughter and stares from outward eyes looking in and knowing what I didn't? How do I not let it eat me up inside until I completely shut down?
Confessions of a Damaged Heart...
hunnie buns.
ReplyDeleteyou gotta focus on how you want to end up. && get there. if its hurting you let it go. if its making you drive harder to your goal then keep it in your life.
i love you sis.